What we are really looking for
Personal development is like dying. Unto yourself. To your ego. Over and over. It’s about you getting to know… well, you. And enhancing your special set of skills, strengths and capabilities. So you can become a fully realised being (if that’s even possible). A master of thy self.
It’s glossed up in marketing campaigns as a form of salvation. Like it’s a pathway to the promised land (it very well may be). Though, truth be told conscious self development, it ain’t for the faint-hearted. Those inner ah-ha’s, oh boy, they can be savage.
The journey requires bravery and determination. A commitment to your own evolution. You have to be willing to deconstruct all the walls you’ve put up. And open doors to rooms within your psyche. The ones that are awfully dark and scary. But there is a purpose. You get to recover and heal aspects of yourself — your mind, body and spirit.
You can create new beliefs and truths. Ones that are more aligned to who you are now. You can even become a little wiser and more compassionate. And a much more humble and selfless individual (that’s the general idea at least). Hopefully, you can also feel a greater sense of peace, happiness and core inner stability. More simply though, self-development can help you get a job, be a half decent parent and have better relationships.
Sometimes doing “the work” can feel like you’re resettling a tiger (it’s not always pretty). Though more often than not you just need to stop fighting the beast. Stop resisting yourself, your own spirit and calling. You must become the tiger. So that you can release fear and embody your truth. To stand in your power. With courage and strength.
Professionals approach personal development from a neurological, behavioural, cognitive and psychosocial paradigm. Business and leadership coaches employ all sorts of mindset, relationship management, conflict resolution and motivational techniques. While spiritual guides speak of a grander view — a connection to a greater whole. They employ instruments such as scripture, prayer, meditation and ritual.
According to a recent report, the global personal development industry is worth over US$38 billion. Furthermore, it’s expected to grow at a rate of 5 per cent year-on-year. People are seeking fulfilment. They’re searching for purpose. And looking for self-realisation. Maybe, just love. But what this growth really shows us is just how dissatisfied, sick and miserable we all are.
So the real question is, why? What’s the root cause of this collective psycho-emotional and spiritual malaise?
Could it be that we’ve got the idea about what constitutes “a good life” wrong? In Western society, we focus so much on the individual. Social and health services are set up around individuals. Practitioners are bound by the system. They treat conditions and symptoms. Not causes.
Perhaps, the exponential growth mindset — the endless striving for more and better, in service of the “I” over the “we” — is the disease. It’s a wicked problem. And it needs to change.
Getting to know yourself is actually really important though (I think it’s what this whole life gig is all about). And we can either choose to do it consciously or unconsciously. But here’s a big warning, personal development can pit yourself against yourself. Like you’re broken. Though parts may feel they are, you are not.
What we actually need is to redesign our global sense of community and redefine success so it stops breaking individuals. And ceases leaving people behind. It’s an outside-in and inside-out job. You are uniquely beautiful. Be the tiger.
This article was first published in The West Australian in Renée Gardiner’s weekly column in Agenda, 19 June 2021.