Male health not just about men
The pressure to “be a man” is immense. Generally, men have been taught to keep it together. To show a brave face and hide their feelings. These kinds of gender stereotypes affect us all. From birth, we frame our children’s identity and societal roles around deeply entrenched intergenerational expectations. Boys must wear blue, play with trucks and be sporty. They then have to be a success and become providers.
The dominant cultural narrative surrounding manhood and masculinity — a lot of which is a hangover from the industrial revolution — must be scrutinised. It has to be rewritten altogether. We’re losing too many of our boys and men. They’re falling through the cracks of our social network. They’re dying prematurely.
More men die by suicide than women and the rates are almost double that of the road toll. But it’s for reasons that are far more common than depression or mental illness. Most causes of male suicide are connected to life’s struggles — the same kinds of issues we all face. The main ones being relationship challenges, loss of a loved one, work pressure and financial stress.
But men, more than women, tend to isolate themselves. They’re also more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviours and experience higher rates of alcohol and other drug disorders than women. It can sometimes be really hard for fellas to speak up and share their pain. Feelings of shame and the stigma go hand in hand.
According to shame researcher, Brené Brown: “Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” We are all susceptible to it. And we must bust through this toxic emotional and psychological stigma as a society.
Because it just doesn’t do anyone much good at all. Internal suffering and pressure always need to be released. If not, it stagnates and can cause more turmoil, anger, rage and illness in the long run.
And while some blokes may struggle to communicate their feelings or seek help, the Australian Men’s Health Forum are challenging this dominant view. They argue that public health dialogue must move beyond “lazy gender stereotypes” and that healthy coping strategies don’t always need to involve talking. There are many people and organisations doing the work to unpack historical gender biases and sexist perceptions — within themselves, their families, businesses and communities.
Male-friendly services such as rights of passage programs, men’s camps, social groups, and dedicated health services have all been growing in popularity. And global movements, such as Movember, are doing a fantastic job of raising the profile of men’s health and mental health issues. On the eve of Men’s Health Week (June 14-20), it’s time to connect with the men and mates in our lives.
Men’s Line Australia offers online and telephone support to help manage relationships troubles, issues with being a dad, mental health and also domestic violence. Here in Perth, local charity Zero2Hero are hosting their 3rd annual MENtal Health Breakfast next week to inspire better mental health and wellbeing for men.
We all have to be a part of creating a healthy way of relating to each other, outside of socially constructed gender roles and identities. And in our attempt to find equality, we must be sure to not allow women's rights movements to degenerate and demonise men — they are our brothers, sons, fathers and partners. We must honour the hearts of all individuals. Because the truth is that men’s issues and mental health aren’t just about men — they’re about all of us.
Lifeline: 13 11 14
MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
This article was first published in The West Australian in Renée Gardiner’s weekly column in Agenda, 12 June 2021.