Showing some gratitude changes all of our lives for the better
As we inch closer to what now feels like a challenging end to the year, it’s the perfect time to take stock and count our blessings. A great way to do this is through reflective practice and practising gratitude. However, I’ve noticed two very distinct narratives in the past couple of weeks. They’re not new, and the same themes are repeated every year around this time.
The first is tainted with negativity. It speaks of suffering, misfortune and lack. Some people can’t wait to see the back of the year that’s been. The cause may be just, we all have good times and bad. No doubt, 2021 has been harder for some people than others.
But then there’s the second tale. It’s told by folk who, regardless of their circumstances, speak of grace and good fortune. Their story is self-aware and prosocial, based on reciprocity. It’s jam-packed with appreciation, inspiration and thankfulness. They’re two very different perspectives. We all want to feel good, and be happy and fulfilled. But what is true happiness, and how can we find it?
Happiness is often associated with a sense of success and achievement, with euphoria, love and joy. But happiness is a deeply misunderstood emotion. Life isn’t always pleasant or uplifting, far from it. Though the essence of happiness is all around us. It exists in simplicity, in the mundane and even in times of sorrow.
True joy does away with expectations, it finds comfort in acceptance. It can be felt through vulnerability, through realising the fragility of our humanness, and confronting our mortality at times. Happiness is not about attaining more, or always hitting big wins and ultra-high moments. It’s generated through appreciating everyday experiences, the people in our lives and what we already have.
The world doesn’t exist solely for our own interests. We are part of a greater whole. But how often do you actively give thanks for the people, places and things in your life?
Cultivating gratitude starts from a place of empathy, and valuing other people’s contributions, time and investment in ourselves and the world. But gratitude isn’t just a social platitude. To be transformational it needs to come from a place of deep understanding.
The extreme polarisation and levels of injustice that divide our world at times can be blinding. Holding polarised views can be detrimental to our health, social fabric and the environment. It can breed false realities, and create enemies and martyrs. But empathy and appreciation have the ability to dissolve hatred. Gratitude changes our brain chemistry. It connects us to others and helps erase negativity bias.
Studies have revealed people who practise gratitude experience less depression, and greater happiness, feelings of belonging, self-esteem and resilience. It’s also physically rewarding. Gratitude reduces blood pressure and pain and increases energy, and you’re likely to sleep better, too.
Being grateful rewires the brain, and increases the feel-good hormones including dopamine and serotonin. Over time, people experience more positive thoughts and less negative ones. When you think about your past and practise thankfulness, you’re training your mind to seek peace, to feel it and then actively create it — it’s a pretty great hack.
Like any new habit, practising gratitude takes time and effort. Keep a journal to express your thoughts. Contemplate the good and bad times, and the pearls of wisdom you learned along the way. Also mind your language, for what you speak, you create.
The invitation of our current time is to go slow, rest in stillness and to ponder your blessings and privileges, too. Reflect on all of the joys, opportunities, challenges and learnings the past 12 months have delivered. Gratitude can change your perception, and your life. Choose it, daily.
This article was first published in The West Australian in Renée Gardiner’s column in Opinion, 27 December 2021.